把時間留給沈澱

昨晚替牛頓見了一個地產經紀。在去翠華的途中我突然閃過一個念頭。N又沒有來訓練，反而在家煮飯。我突然發覺不時不做這個道理多麼準確。她到了想結婚定下來的年紀，而我還沒有。媽媽一直跟我說要定下來，談談朋友，而我卻老是向鴕鳥一樣把頭塞在沙堆裡。不想，不念，不做，不聽。現在身邊人都差不多結的結，定的定，我還沒有著落，好像自己是外星球派來的一樣。

不要到N的年紀才急了，後悔了。時間不留人。不要抱怨，要向前看。

我在這裡學到了什麼，要沈澱，要吸收，否則只是浪費了的光陰。

Day 1 of 90 days

Since watching the Secret on last Sunday, I have taken nearly a week to instil positivity and orderliness in my life. 

Tuesday saw Josie come to clean, for the first time in more than a year, I had a helper clean the apartment. 

I cleared out a whole large rubbish bag worth of expired food, including expensive organic beans, quinoa and also protein powders. Very wasteful and reminding myself to be FRUGAL and SMART saver, instead of saying do NOT to be wasteful. 

THE SECRET - FOCUS AND VISUALISE ON WHAT YOU WANT. INSTEAD OF WHAT YOU DON'T WANT. 

Yesterday was a low point in my life

Yesterday was a low point of my life. The bills are piling up, my bank account is less than 5 digits and my best friend and I sat down to discuss why I got myself into such a mess and how I can claw my way back out of the hole.

It was so upsetting. JC opened her notebook, and I remember saying, look I haven't had time to sit down to do the maths. I literally shut the book. She was furious cos of my attitude that I don't really give a crap and am wasting her time. In reality, I was embarrassed, ashamed and annoyed at myself and how I got into this mess. I still can't let go of my "banker" stature and wanted "face" (死要面子, as she put it).

Time to let go of the past. It is like cloud which has floated past already, and it ain't coming back.
面是別人給，架是自己丟。話講的很重，我就像被他媽的打了一拳。但是她講的一點也不錯，自己丟了自己的架。怪不得別人。

我這個人是好了傷疤忘了痛，馬上故態復萌。所以今天開始自己煮飯，出去盡量減少開支。

Be patient - pay off my taxes first, then pay off credit card, have 200k to last me 5 months and then I can definitely take off.

My vision!
Thinking too small, take this company public! I want to be top # in the company. I want to be its spokesperson to media.

忍一時之義氣，享萬代之功名。
我要諾貝爾和平獎！我要令朝鮮開放。我要光宗耀祖，讓好婆驕傲！

Going back to normal job and a dreary life is not what I am committed to! I AM COMMITTED TO FREEDOM, CLARITY, PERSEVERANCE AND UNSTOPPABILITY!

Am I here to make money? Or am I here to solve a problem to a pain?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nOVTGyx3ZsY

Quick fixes and anger management

So I had to do an SOS call to JC, on recruitment events etc. When she said things along the lines of you have no idea of what you are doing, i was so agitated and raised my voice. This got me so present to the fact that I react to when people say I have no idea and I am very agitated. Also the fact that people don't give me quick fix solutions but rather try to give me pointers which i have no patience for.

This was interesting insight because later when I had to speak to R for 50 mins at 3am, I really realised my patience improved as I now know the importance of bu dong sheng se.

She has her posture. I need to have mine also. 

I sort of declared it, but they made it happen!

The last 24 hours have been truly amazing, with things happening at 1 million miles an hour.

1. JC & B actually flew to Singapore for the chance to meet with JR. And they made it happen. A most amazing miracle! High posture. When you have something that someone else craves for, they will do whatever possible to make it happen. When they don't give a crap, they won't even look at you.

So knowing the value of what you are carrying and what you stand for, is so important!

2. Having the vision of who you want to be is so important! Even if you are not yet there, if you are clear about exactly who you are and what you stand for, it is like nothing else matters.

I feel so powerless, almost every second that I am awake, about my fatness and how untidy and messy my house is. It is like the cause of everything that is troubling me comes from there.

I need some serious clearing, why am I upset? I am upset with an idiot I am and making myself wrong.
I need to just wake up and stop thinking and just do.

Structure in place
1. No food after 8pm
2. once a week just clean.
3. one day off a week - every sunday
4. once a week facial
5. sleep by 12am latest

山窮水盡，必鹹魚翻生

Kept on examining my cashflow situation and realised that I have borrowed 240k AUD from my parents for the damn apartment. Which means that I have pretty much not saved any money for the past whole year. Truly depressing and I really want this to be the one shot to make it happen. Yet at the back of my mind, I am afraid that this is the backfire I will experience because in the past I have so often relied on ONE SHOT saviors but that has never worked for me. Instead I need

WHAT AM I REALLY UPSET ABOUT?

Upset about the situation that I have no cashflow left. Stupid enough to leave myself in this situation. 

That I am turning 30 and in the most appalling financial situation I have ever been in for my whole life. 

That I am not a powerful leader as I said I am, but rather scrambling for cash and inauthentic.

What is my upset?

Thwarted intention of being abundant and rich. Scrambling and leaving my parents worried still. 

What is my commitment?

Be fearless, be clear, light and insignificant. 

EVERYTHING WILL BE OKAY BECAUSE I SAY SO!

if i can't even make sure my apartment is clean and that i am on time every time, how can i say so about my finances??

Now until 1 Mar 2015 will be my time of saving power, saving strength, develop mental strength and endurance.

I can cos I say I can.

Tip #1 It is a lifestyle / passion!

Lyo is not a cashback card. It is not a shopping network. It is a lifestyle! It is passion! It is belief!

3 appointments a day cos you believe. NOW OR NEVER!!!