B came over to cut my hair on V Day! LOL
To be honest initially I was a bit sceptical cos she never had training as a hairdresser (for god's sake she's a ex banker who should theoretically, only know how to make $ haha). But the effect was awesome. What's more, she brought me a major breakthrough that I felt so loved and cared for afterwards. Being unblinded.
Ever since Dali I have been falling in and out of my head about the story of "I can't". Dali trip was awesome where the level of authenticity w T has just risen to a level I've never had with anybody. She really told me what's what and cleared me of my internal dialogues and thoughts of dissatisfaction about "how come i don't get this and that" out of ILP etc. On the trip I got present to the fact that I haven't been getting results because I haven't been taking actions! T got results because she bloody took a lot of actions! Instead of following suit I've been procrastinating and whining about why people don't 'give me' and make things fall in my lap.
The possibility I want to create is to
1) ST - double my income by next year this time
2) ST - start my own coaching business
3) MT - build an eco-tourism boutique hotel in Yunnan, China that promotes Chinese culture and history
4) Very LT - build 5 schools and hospitals in China
What B got me present to was how much love and care I gotten from other people and how I love making other people wrong to affirm my story that people are inherently not there for me and that I play alone. As B told me about how she always had the story that she firmly believed people will help her in her life, I never had that similar feeling. In fact if people actually help me I feel 1) awkward 2) doubtful 3) don't think it'll be any better than if I do it myself
When she bursted into tears telling me she cancelled her painting class to be my RC on the first night. I really felt like an a$$hole cos that night my little brain had the story that she was not fully with the guest etc. But she is who she is and what happened is what happened. I don't need to make it to mean anything really. I was so not present!!!
This is a repetitive pattern! All my life i've been judging how people are not there for me and then think to myself why i'm not as happy or am 'darker' than other people. Or not as happy as T! Now I understand! I just need to give up the story of people not there for me and be present to the love and contribution I'm getting from others! It really will be awesome!
What's important for me is how to regenerate myself everytime I feel disempowered and recognise that it's okay, get off it and move on!
To be honest initially I was a bit sceptical cos she never had training as a hairdresser (for god's sake she's a ex banker who should theoretically, only know how to make $ haha). But the effect was awesome. What's more, she brought me a major breakthrough that I felt so loved and cared for afterwards. Being unblinded.
Ever since Dali I have been falling in and out of my head about the story of "I can't". Dali trip was awesome where the level of authenticity w T has just risen to a level I've never had with anybody. She really told me what's what and cleared me of my internal dialogues and thoughts of dissatisfaction about "how come i don't get this and that" out of ILP etc. On the trip I got present to the fact that I haven't been getting results because I haven't been taking actions! T got results because she bloody took a lot of actions! Instead of following suit I've been procrastinating and whining about why people don't 'give me' and make things fall in my lap.
The possibility I want to create is to
1) ST - double my income by next year this time
2) ST - start my own coaching business
3) MT - build an eco-tourism boutique hotel in Yunnan, China that promotes Chinese culture and history
4) Very LT - build 5 schools and hospitals in China
What B got me present to was how much love and care I gotten from other people and how I love making other people wrong to affirm my story that people are inherently not there for me and that I play alone. As B told me about how she always had the story that she firmly believed people will help her in her life, I never had that similar feeling. In fact if people actually help me I feel 1) awkward 2) doubtful 3) don't think it'll be any better than if I do it myself
When she bursted into tears telling me she cancelled her painting class to be my RC on the first night. I really felt like an a$$hole cos that night my little brain had the story that she was not fully with the guest etc. But she is who she is and what happened is what happened. I don't need to make it to mean anything really. I was so not present!!!
This is a repetitive pattern! All my life i've been judging how people are not there for me and then think to myself why i'm not as happy or am 'darker' than other people. Or not as happy as T! Now I understand! I just need to give up the story of people not there for me and be present to the love and contribution I'm getting from others! It really will be awesome!
What's important for me is how to regenerate myself everytime I feel disempowered and recognise that it's okay, get off it and move on!
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