It is new year's eve and I am sitting in bed watching satc and typing out this message. That is right, no parties, no sydney trip, no dinners with people. Why? Because I am sick and have a blocked nose and a stomach that is ready to be upset at any second now.
I often ponder the validity of my choices. That I choose to drive myself to the ground? What am I trying to prove really? And to whom? That I have a goal and that I cannot fail? The only way is forward?
What is particularly poignant is the FB pages of everyone, be it fireworks in Sydney, holiday trips with their loved ones, or even a homely dinner. Yet here I am alone, pondering, not really stressing, but more to nurture my cold / flu / annoyance. Not really getting to live life as I should. I remember the days where I used to enjoy going out to parties. Certainly a bit too old for that. I certainly don't get to live life to the fullest as I would like to. Oddly enough I am at ease with my choice though. Unlike last year or years before where I was genuinely unhappy or upset on NYE boat trip (probably 3 years ago), this time, I am clear about where it is I am going and what I need to be doing to get there.
Hence the ease and peace of mind. There is nothing like clarity, tranquility and peace of mind.
I often ponder the validity of my choices. That I choose to drive myself to the ground? What am I trying to prove really? And to whom? That I have a goal and that I cannot fail? The only way is forward?
What is particularly poignant is the FB pages of everyone, be it fireworks in Sydney, holiday trips with their loved ones, or even a homely dinner. Yet here I am alone, pondering, not really stressing, but more to nurture my cold / flu / annoyance. Not really getting to live life as I should. I remember the days where I used to enjoy going out to parties. Certainly a bit too old for that. I certainly don't get to live life to the fullest as I would like to. Oddly enough I am at ease with my choice though. Unlike last year or years before where I was genuinely unhappy or upset on NYE boat trip (probably 3 years ago), this time, I am clear about where it is I am going and what I need to be doing to get there.
Hence the ease and peace of mind. There is nothing like clarity, tranquility and peace of mind.
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