2012年9月24日 星期一

Day 9 of detox, not so 10x excited

Booked hotel in Tokyo yesterday, was excited only momentarily. Then got present to the fact that I have been so inefficient at work and lacked concentration, big time! A big issue has been that a lot of my efforts have been wasted because that's not how the boss wants it, or I haven't clarified with him enough to really get the crux of it.

So what to do going forward?
1. FOCUS FOCUS FOCUS
2. Keep on asking questions until everything is crystal clear, understand why he is asking for things in a certain way, that way, I can understand what is important to him
3. Keep him in the loop as to where I am in the progress

Back to the trip. It's good to spend some time with C as we haven't really got present to each other's company. In fact, even when we speak sometimes, I get not so much intimidated, but disturbed by her voice, the tone and the pace, all in much haste and make me uncomfortable. Something I really want to get to is her habit of throwing cotton tips everywhere. I mean, it bothered me before, a lot, and then I decided to turn a blind eye, when really, it does bother me. I mean, I'm not her mother, but this is a shared space between the two of us, and it would be decent if we could keep that to miminum.

Having said that, I am very messy myself, so need to change, and not put everything everywhere, as I usually do on trips. One must do things correctly oneself before showing others the way it should be done.

These are the resolutions of today. I will be authentic, upfront, subtle but firm.
Focused, concentrated, powering on as I do.

PB put a video with the ceo of that company I introduced him to. The speed at which he did this was impressive, I only introduced them in mid Aug. And now a few weeks later the video is up and running. This reveals yet another problem of mine, I see opportunities and ideas yet don't follow up on them and they slip through my fingers as a result. I need to focus and really get present to what it is I want.

I'm in so much angst right now. I'm so frustrated with myself. Why did I only know to play computer games in uni?? All these two extra years I piled on with a law degree - I should've done something with it!! It's now 7 years ago!

I'm sick of regret. I'm going to do!!

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