Lots of dramas on fri night and over the weekend but at the same time, lots of realisations as well. First, there's the email chain drama to which there was another angry email from him, I initially thought about enrolling him into giving up the he is right, other people are wrong. Then I decided I cannot be bothered. Maybe I will do it when I am more skilled at this, right this moment it's simply not worth my time.
Then there was a lengthy discussion w N, to which she made me aware that I was giving her too much pressure about this. After discussion w Coach B yday, I realised I am too attached to her getting what I got out of, and forgot the flow of 'as is'. I do my best and let her flow the way she wants to. When I converse with them, I am the one speaking for lengthy time, rather than giving the other party a chance to speak. So what I've learned is
1. shut up, ask questions and listen more. Listen intently. If you don't know what the problem is, how do you find the relief?
2. give up the thinking of 'right / wrong, should/should not'. As is, let it be. My friends' lives would be perfect even if they don't do landmark forum. Be committed, but not too attached.
3. keep on sharing, don't take it personally. if I take it personally and give it all up, then that fulfills exactly why N said she didn't want to confront B cos people she cared for would be angry or resigned.
A major breakthrough for me yesterday was when mother told me she finally started applying the distinction I shared with her, about not taking things personally and sticking to facts by ridding of her own interpretations when analysing a situation. She said she was able to do that and speak with my father about something he did in 1990 when he gave a wooden chest and her pair of red boots to his side of the family, rather than her older sister who was looking after me, as she told him to do. Dad still tried to avoid the conversation by going off to work. However one hour later he called her to fess up, the conversation almost brought tears to my eyes.
He asked: do you know why i'm working so hard these days?
She: no i don't
He: because I want to make up for the wrongs I have done at an age when I was immature.
She was left very touched, moved and inspired. So was I. So this thing really works and as I encouraged K, all these things take time, and we need to make sure we 'really get it', before we can make sure 'everybody else gets it'.
As a result, today, I am 10x excited, inspired and ready to inspire!
BE AN INTENTIONAL LISTENER, PASSIONATE BUT WITHOUT ZEAL. COMMITTED BUT NOT ATTACHED. SELFLESS BUT NOT TAKING IT PERSONAL.
Then there was a lengthy discussion w N, to which she made me aware that I was giving her too much pressure about this. After discussion w Coach B yday, I realised I am too attached to her getting what I got out of, and forgot the flow of 'as is'. I do my best and let her flow the way she wants to. When I converse with them, I am the one speaking for lengthy time, rather than giving the other party a chance to speak. So what I've learned is
1. shut up, ask questions and listen more. Listen intently. If you don't know what the problem is, how do you find the relief?
2. give up the thinking of 'right / wrong, should/should not'. As is, let it be. My friends' lives would be perfect even if they don't do landmark forum. Be committed, but not too attached.
3. keep on sharing, don't take it personally. if I take it personally and give it all up, then that fulfills exactly why N said she didn't want to confront B cos people she cared for would be angry or resigned.
A major breakthrough for me yesterday was when mother told me she finally started applying the distinction I shared with her, about not taking things personally and sticking to facts by ridding of her own interpretations when analysing a situation. She said she was able to do that and speak with my father about something he did in 1990 when he gave a wooden chest and her pair of red boots to his side of the family, rather than her older sister who was looking after me, as she told him to do. Dad still tried to avoid the conversation by going off to work. However one hour later he called her to fess up, the conversation almost brought tears to my eyes.
He asked: do you know why i'm working so hard these days?
She: no i don't
He: because I want to make up for the wrongs I have done at an age when I was immature.
She was left very touched, moved and inspired. So was I. So this thing really works and as I encouraged K, all these things take time, and we need to make sure we 'really get it', before we can make sure 'everybody else gets it'.
As a result, today, I am 10x excited, inspired and ready to inspire!
BE AN INTENTIONAL LISTENER, PASSIONATE BUT WITHOUT ZEAL. COMMITTED BUT NOT ATTACHED. SELFLESS BUT NOT TAKING IT PERSONAL.
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