AC share

Contribution to others

- out of the AC, I saw that i have not contributed enough to my family as I have been running away from my responsibilities. as a result I created the possibility to go back to Australia to be with my parents for two weeks prior to starting my new job to restore our relationship. i desperately wanted to improve communication with my parents because everytime i felt like i needed to pretend to be busy to get off the phone with my mother because i wanted to run away from her 'nagging'. Then afterwards I resented myself because I prided myself in having the 'best' relationship one could have with their mother. This was clearly inauthentic.

so basically when I was in Sydney I kept my schedule completely blank, and i told her that i'm not going to use whatsapp, fb, gmail but rather, just be with her. we don't have to speak to each other, we can just sit here and be, together. the first week was difficult as i still perceived her as nagging so we bickered. but one day as mother and i strolled down to the beach, i said, look, the way i have been communicating so far has not worked, and from hereon instead of listening from the space that you are nagging me, i will listen from the space that you care for me so much and you love me so much, so please nag away!!! she stopped walking and paused, a bit stunned, saying, oh, that's something different, i've been waiting for you to say that all this time, you know. I said yes i'm sorry but indeed it's better late than never!

Now, me and my parents are at the best we have ever been! she can freely tell me what she feels and i no longer run away. nowadays when i call her just to say i miss her, she'd still get very nervous thinking there's an emergency going on here which is probably one of the rare occasions i would call her in the past. Let's just say my breakthrough out of the AC is continuously evolving, the peeling of the onion doesn't stop!