There's no moment like now, so just enjoy the present

C just told me she may move elsewhere if she indeed break up w G, for a fresh start.

The moment I saw that text it was almost like the world came crashing down. I know I have said that before, leave HK, move home, or elsewhere. More like out of spite, out if resentment to make her sad or something. But the moment it came and I saw it, I was do upset. There was a heartache I can't describe, something on top if my heart and I found it much harder to breathe. It's amazing, the impact of something someone says. We used to think its okay to say certain nasty things, whether intentionally or carelessly. Yet each little word has such tremendous impact that we really are not present to it til it hits me in the face. Oh hit me it did.

Then as I got present to my sadness, I ask myself, what is different this time and why am I upset? I cleared the fact that I am just being selfish and seeing things from my perspective. If I am so upset just knowing she is leaving. Imagine how sad she must be, breaking up with the boyfriend, an potentially leaving me and a familiar environment. What I can do, I determined, is to be as supportive as possible. And be glad of what we had already. The friendship that won't die away because I will always have interest at the top of my mind.

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Also had coaching call w Betty during my lunch hour dash to pure, my very last time I'm there. I have come to realize the three key things I am grappling with this week
1. I alway change things last min and unintentionally make people feel like they are not important
2. I am not present to the impact of my action and consequences. I am not present to how people feel when they are with me. I may have inadvertently turned away friends through the way I behave
3. Ilp and coaching call occur as hard work to me. Ditto Betty and speaking with her. I perceived myself as fine so don't need a call. Alternatively I perceive it as I am too sick and unwell and don't want to speak to her cos I didn't want to use my brain
4. Yet what I realize is that, in life, I am always stopped by my reasons, I'm tired, I'm sick, I don't feel like it, why me, can't be bothered, there's always tomorrow and my personal favorite is my daddy isn't Li Ka Shing. If I'm stopped by these silly reasons or excuses that they really are, they surely I get stopped by another task. There's no doubt about it