A lot of stuff to talk about today. Last night had my first intro assist at the LEHK office, T led and I brought C and C as guests. Both were interested although unfortunately timing conflicts with their prior commitments. Great thing is I was not disappointed at all because I know both benefited from the session and will be making a commitment to change their lives.
Hung out with B afterwards for supper, and she brought up this key point of being organised and really plan out my next 5 months. It's great advice because it's exactly the thing that I've lacked all my life! I have all these great thoughts in my head but I don't execute properly because I don't put a pen to paper on exactly what I need. Will try to go to her session of sales training - want to open my horizon!
Then I had a breakdown, I sinfully walked into 711 and bought (at 2 different locations) 4 ice creams! OMG such a pig! Plus a pack of spicy seaweed. Needless to say all that has turned into fat!!
Stikk.com is great for reminding me that if I don't run today I'll need to pay 200hkd again! WTF. I'm running! Despite on 4 hour sleep.
Possibilities I want to create out of today is to have 2 enrollment conversations - one w N, another w S to tell her that Nuskin really is not for me at this stage, but I'll invite her to Landmark if she's interested.
Also, will ask boss in town for coffee again, to do some team bonding. At this stage, I got a story in my head that he is not interested in catching up with me or getting to know me better and knock out a work plan for the rest of the year.
--
So during lunch time I went down to buy roast chicken and on the way back I decided to call the shop and speak with mum. Surprisingly I got hold of my father and I told him that the reason I have not had much luck with men is partly my insecurities partly my self image problems. And him and my mother commenting on my
Then I realised how emotionally I react to father's comment that if I continued to be so fat, how close to 'crying' he would be. I realised how much I resented those three words, 哭出来, even as I heard it now, it's like someone is pressing my button and I didn't even know I had one. This is worse than calling me straightout fat. And of course, I got present to the fact that I should just let it go, and it's not what he said, but rather, what I make it to mean.
Big share here by me, about love. Actually just realised it during lunch..
So during lunch in ICC I was walking back up to wait for the elevator, I saw the security guards bringing out the sniffer dogs - spaniels I believe they are. It's very strange that I so proactively approach them and to play with the dog. Funny enough the dog was very eager cos I was holding roast chicken, sniffing away eagerly. But as I played and fiddled with its fur, chin and forehead, completely oblivious to the lunchtime crowd passing me by, I realised that moment that for the first time, I feel so free, loving, being loving and not afraid to show it. (Random huggers day started the flow of 'love', and the momentum just continued as I give hugs very generously and with much warmth and empowerment to all my friends everyday since Weekend 2 and very passionately try to raise funds for the barefoot walkathon this week). This really hit me, particularly as I somehow remembered what an evil teenager I was to my pet when I was about 13 years old, Carl. I became angry and jealous that he would always follow my mum everywhere, and ignored me that one day I just held him up and dropped him from a certain height that he injured one of his legs and needed to see a vet. I know, horrendous right! And as the vet was checking Carl up, he became so angry and said that this crime was punishable. I remember feeling guilty and hating myself for it but not knowing why I did it.
I think the root cause of my jealousy, was that somehow I was so awkward a kid and didn't know how to love and perceived that I was not getting the love I deserve, starting from 7 years old, but being reunited with my mother at 12 clearly didn't alleviate it by much.
This moment, I feel so liberated and really glowing because I am a liberated woman and can finally see again!!! Love because I want to! Love because I have so much of it!!
Hung out with B afterwards for supper, and she brought up this key point of being organised and really plan out my next 5 months. It's great advice because it's exactly the thing that I've lacked all my life! I have all these great thoughts in my head but I don't execute properly because I don't put a pen to paper on exactly what I need. Will try to go to her session of sales training - want to open my horizon!
Then I had a breakdown, I sinfully walked into 711 and bought (at 2 different locations) 4 ice creams! OMG such a pig! Plus a pack of spicy seaweed. Needless to say all that has turned into fat!!
Stikk.com is great for reminding me that if I don't run today I'll need to pay 200hkd again! WTF. I'm running! Despite on 4 hour sleep.
Possibilities I want to create out of today is to have 2 enrollment conversations - one w N, another w S to tell her that Nuskin really is not for me at this stage, but I'll invite her to Landmark if she's interested.
Also, will ask boss in town for coffee again, to do some team bonding. At this stage, I got a story in my head that he is not interested in catching up with me or getting to know me better and knock out a work plan for the rest of the year.
Grateful for 5 things each day #7: am grateful for stikk.com for whooping my ass running or risk paying money again; am grateful for K for coming to me for help, I feel thought of haha; am grateful for TT for a magnanimous intro, you've really let my judgments go; am grateful for B for pointing out my blind spot, i look forward to achieving results with good planning and last but not least for my awesome trader, one min conversation and your whole family is doing the bare foot walkathon with us!! Bravo thur!!!
--
So during lunch time I went down to buy roast chicken and on the way back I decided to call the shop and speak with mum. Surprisingly I got hold of my father and I told him that the reason I have not had much luck with men is partly my insecurities partly my self image problems. And him and my mother commenting on my
Then I realised how emotionally I react to father's comment that if I continued to be so fat, how close to 'crying' he would be. I realised how much I resented those three words, 哭出来, even as I heard it now, it's like someone is pressing my button and I didn't even know I had one. This is worse than calling me straightout fat. And of course, I got present to the fact that I should just let it go, and it's not what he said, but rather, what I make it to mean.
Big share here by me, about love. Actually just realised it during lunch..
So during lunch in ICC I was walking back up to wait for the elevator, I saw the security guards bringing out the sniffer dogs - spaniels I believe they are. It's very strange that I so proactively approach them and to play with the dog. Funny enough the dog was very eager cos I was holding roast chicken, sniffing away eagerly. But as I played and fiddled with its fur, chin and forehead, completely oblivious to the lunchtime crowd passing me by, I realised that moment that for the first time, I feel so free, loving, being loving and not afraid to show it. (Random huggers day started the flow of 'love', and the momentum just continued as I give hugs very generously and with much warmth and empowerment to all my friends everyday since Weekend 2 and very passionately try to raise funds for the barefoot walkathon this week). This really hit me, particularly as I somehow remembered what an evil teenager I was to my pet when I was about 13 years old, Carl. I became angry and jealous that he would always follow my mum everywhere, and ignored me that one day I just held him up and dropped him from a certain height that he injured one of his legs and needed to see a vet. I know, horrendous right! And as the vet was checking Carl up, he became so angry and said that this crime was punishable. I remember feeling guilty and hating myself for it but not knowing why I did it.
I think the root cause of my jealousy, was that somehow I was so awkward a kid and didn't know how to love and perceived that I was not getting the love I deserve, starting from 7 years old, but being reunited with my mother at 12 clearly didn't alleviate it by much.
This moment, I feel so liberated and really glowing because I am a liberated woman and can finally see again!!! Love because I want to! Love because I have so much of it!!
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