I attended last night's session by Toni with one of my biggest breakdowns during my ILP. It went on to last for an hour or so, until she tore it apart with her larger than life humanity and 'bigness'.
My ways of being and acting is perfectly correlated with the way in which the world occurs to me.
So where is an area I'm experiencing the loss of power? Right now that's work. Since the boss left last Thursday, have been in a bit of a limbo to get myself back up again from a headless chicken but to very little avail.
1. Lack of power
- failure to produce work / deal report
2. The environment I deal with that
- covertly hostile
- threatening
- no one looking out for me
- I'm all alone
- I'm without guidance
- I'm without protection
- sniping
3. the way in which I occur for myself
- first word that came to my mind is WEAK
- flip flop, vaccilate
- don't deliver, always promise ie no integrity
- try really hard
- it's a struggle
- drowning
- useless, am ineffective, i don't make a difference
4. What are my disempowering ways of being and ineffective ways of acting?
Being
I don't want an almost certain path to past based future, an ALMOST CERTAIN PREDICTABLE FUTURE of... resigned, unproductive, fired! No!!!
The context I'm creating is I AM BOLD, CONFIDENT, EMPOWERED, POWERFUL, PRODUCTIVE, FEARLESS, UNSTOPPABLE. I will have this occurring as if it's real! It's my reality!
Bracket the powerlessness and WONDER what is possible. Sense of wonder into this area of work - what would it be like if I was a powerful and well respected analyst? Right now I play small, I play hide and seek. I AM COMING OUT!
HAPPY
CONSISTENT
PERSISTENT
BRAVE
BOLD
SECURE
COMMITTED
FEARLESS
UNSTOPPABLE!!!!
Allow myself to get in touch and see what's important to me as a human being?
Feel respected, loved, free, fulfilled, PLAY BIG!
I can continue to hide in the dark, feel trapped, hate myself, leading to an almost certain predictable future or I can play! I'm gonna freaking playYYYYYYY!!!!!
What am I re-creating as the occurrence?
CONTRIBUTING AND MAKING A DIFFERENCE!
The future I'm committed to is to make a difference. It's not about ME making a difference (that's my identity talk), it's about MAKING A DIFFERENCE.
"It's hard" only arises in language. Nothing more.
Q, who you are for me, it's your word.
My ways of being and acting is perfectly correlated with the way in which the world occurs to me.
So where is an area I'm experiencing the loss of power? Right now that's work. Since the boss left last Thursday, have been in a bit of a limbo to get myself back up again from a headless chicken but to very little avail.
1. Lack of power
- failure to produce work / deal report
2. The environment I deal with that
- covertly hostile
- threatening
- no one looking out for me
- I'm all alone
- I'm without guidance
- I'm without protection
- sniping
3. the way in which I occur for myself
- first word that came to my mind is WEAK
- flip flop, vaccilate
- don't deliver, always promise ie no integrity
- try really hard
- it's a struggle
- drowning
- useless, am ineffective, i don't make a difference
4. What are my disempowering ways of being and ineffective ways of acting?
Being
- resigned / PROACTIVE
- scared / BRAVE, COURAGEOUS
- bitter / FIRED UP, PASSIONATE
- disempowered / EMPOWERED
- procrastinating / UNSTOPPABLE
- unhappy / HAPPY, JOY!
- weighs on my mind / LIGHT, FREE!
- pressured / FREEDOM OF EXPRESSION
- not self expressed / FULLY SELF EXPRESSED
- not free / FREE!
- resent myself, others / LOVING LIFE!
- demotivated / MOTIVATED, DRIVEN
- distracted, think too much / FOCUSED
- scared to ask for my responsibility / ASK FOR RESPONSIBILITY
- hiding / OUT IN THE OPEN, DECLARE!
- late to work / PUNCTUAL, ON TIME
- don't put in 100% / 100%!
- leave work early / WORK HARD!
- refrain from asking work / PROACTIVELY ASK FOR WORK
- Difficult / NORMAL, NOT ROCKET SCIENCE
- Impossible / FUN
- Traps everywhere / LEARN NEW THINGS
- Opaque / OPPORTUNITY TO PROVE MYSELF
- Challenging / OUT OF THE SHADOWS
- Scary / OWNERSHIP, BE RESPONSIBLE, OPPORTUNITY TO SHINE
I don't want an almost certain path to past based future, an ALMOST CERTAIN PREDICTABLE FUTURE of... resigned, unproductive, fired! No!!!
The context I'm creating is I AM BOLD, CONFIDENT, EMPOWERED, POWERFUL, PRODUCTIVE, FEARLESS, UNSTOPPABLE. I will have this occurring as if it's real! It's my reality!
Bracket the powerlessness and WONDER what is possible. Sense of wonder into this area of work - what would it be like if I was a powerful and well respected analyst? Right now I play small, I play hide and seek. I AM COMING OUT!
HAPPY
CONSISTENT
PERSISTENT
BRAVE
BOLD
SECURE
COMMITTED
FEARLESS
UNSTOPPABLE!!!!
Allow myself to get in touch and see what's important to me as a human being?
Feel respected, loved, free, fulfilled, PLAY BIG!
I can continue to hide in the dark, feel trapped, hate myself, leading to an almost certain predictable future or I can play! I'm gonna freaking playYYYYYYY!!!!!
What am I re-creating as the occurrence?
CONTRIBUTING AND MAKING A DIFFERENCE!
The future I'm committed to is to make a difference. It's not about ME making a difference (that's my identity talk), it's about MAKING A DIFFERENCE.
"It's hard" only arises in language. Nothing more.
Q, who you are for me, it's your word.
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