Last night's assist was fabulous, simply unbelievable!!! Guess what? A registered her bf and best friend! Y brought her friend and she confessed to me that she could see the change in me in that, although I have known her for 3 years, previously I occurred to her as not very genuine - everytime I saw her, I'd hug her and be very warm in greeting without much substance to follow up. This was very eye-opening for me because I thought I was being friendly and these people never make effort to hang out with me!! I really see that this 100%/0% really works. Because previously I was measuring it with my own standard of 50/50%. Yet, everyone's standard and judgment of 50/50 is different! But after the forum, she could see that I was really becoming genuine and really care for people, in my generous sharings (although to me, i was just doing an enrollment conversation, but probably because she can see the shift in my being which is much more authentic than previous 'garbage in, garbage out' approach in being with people.
Yday I had a call w Liza and she made me realize I'm so automatic in deprecating myself by put myself in a lower space than everyone else cos of inferior complexity, whether in life or with guys as well. You know I was a small captain in first wk of primary school, I got it cos I was managing the school bus order voluntarily. Then next wk, the teacher took it back cos I talked too much in class (too excited). I was never given any title theoughout school ever since.. I always had the story that I am a mediocre student at the back of my mind and I tried very hard in Australia to prove the contrary. I think that's my trigger point of I'm not good enough!! As a result I'm so automatic in turning down receiving love from ppl. Because I'm too busy giving. So exercise I'm doing these two wks is to find 5 things great about myself that I'm worthy of receiving rather than not deserving. I catch myself, I'm so automatic in offering help, I'm going to try lower that a lil these two wks and just more aware of my own act.
And just now, C said she will consider doing LMF because she can really see the change in me. I'm so overjoyed it's really very funny! This just shows that leading by words does not work, and action is the only way out. People only follow and believe you if they see you being your word, you shifting the paradigm will cause ripple effects.
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There really is no better way to conclude the five things I'm grateful for each day exercise. Today I'm shifting the exercise to 5 evidences that I am good enough, I am perfect the way I am, I will find people who love me exactly the way I am!
All along I have been too busy in giving. I will try pause giving just so that I can see who continues to love me. I haven't been able to see, feel, who's giving to me previously cos I'm giving too much. I will be more in touch with receiving, receiving with grace.
I will be more open and receive what life has to offer me, and let people give more freely.
I feel so free today that it's the best wed in a long while even on 4 hour sleep!
Yday I had a call w Liza and she made me realize I'm so automatic in deprecating myself by put myself in a lower space than everyone else cos of inferior complexity, whether in life or with guys as well. You know I was a small captain in first wk of primary school, I got it cos I was managing the school bus order voluntarily. Then next wk, the teacher took it back cos I talked too much in class (too excited). I was never given any title theoughout school ever since.. I always had the story that I am a mediocre student at the back of my mind and I tried very hard in Australia to prove the contrary. I think that's my trigger point of I'm not good enough!! As a result I'm so automatic in turning down receiving love from ppl. Because I'm too busy giving. So exercise I'm doing these two wks is to find 5 things great about myself that I'm worthy of receiving rather than not deserving. I catch myself, I'm so automatic in offering help, I'm going to try lower that a lil these two wks and just more aware of my own act.
And just now, C said she will consider doing LMF because she can really see the change in me. I'm so overjoyed it's really very funny! This just shows that leading by words does not work, and action is the only way out. People only follow and believe you if they see you being your word, you shifting the paradigm will cause ripple effects.
---
There really is no better way to conclude the five things I'm grateful for each day exercise. Today I'm shifting the exercise to 5 evidences that I am good enough, I am perfect the way I am, I will find people who love me exactly the way I am!
All along I have been too busy in giving. I will try pause giving just so that I can see who continues to love me. I haven't been able to see, feel, who's giving to me previously cos I'm giving too much. I will be more in touch with receiving, receiving with grace.
I will be more open and receive what life has to offer me, and let people give more freely.
I feel so free today that it's the best wed in a long while even on 4 hour sleep!
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