I am the calling for... no one ever gives me what i want.

MF told me this morning the role of CLS is filled already by ILP19, when I was under the impression that he is not concurrently looking for another person.

A told me to not go to the workshop tomorrow because there are too many people going and it's important that I finish the financial forecasts. Honestly I find it so annoying that people never give me what I want. WHAT I FKING WANT!!

#1 - if there are people with whom you haven't gotten complete, get complete with at least one other person. Practice recreating what they say as an access to getting complete.
- invent a new possibility for yourself in that relationship that is a victory over the past and enroll that person in your having gotten that possibility
- enroll at least one other person in your having gotten the new possibility you have invented for yourself and your life

#2 - notice how much you do not accept the people in your life; how many stories you have about them. write down what you notice.

#3 - with at least one person, take action to make a difference with them
- make a diff with many more than one person, be unreasonable
- for many of you, the form of making a difference will be to share yourself and invite people to our next session
- whatever your expression is, your assignment is to make a difference with at least one person, or fail to make a difference with someone

Relationship #5

What i learned from relationship seminar on mon night. quite useful and perhaps food for thoguht for you too

in terms of being self expressed and completions, the #1 formula is 

1. giving up my point of view

2. share my inauthenticity w the other party - ie what have i been inauthentic about w him / her

3. do it in the context of generating and expressing love/partnership/romance, ie what it is you are committed to creating w him

4. don't do the conversation like dumping all you want to say onto him, but have it as a genuine conversation where you open up, which can also encourage him to do the same. 

sorry should have sent you earlier, i actually thought of you when i wrote this down in class, but been overwhelmed w stuff. anyways hope it's helpful. 

Day 22 - let's recalibrate

Starting today I am going to very carefully measure what I eat in terms of calories, food compositions and the times I eat. So here is today's food diary:

Breakfast: 1 sweet potato, size of my right hand with 5 fingers closed together
Lunch + afternoon tea: 2/3 cup of mixed beans, fist sized pork and 2 bowls of soup
Dinner: 1/3 cup of Caesar (with salad dressing so I quickly disposed of it), and a salmon steak, with of 3 fingers and length of my hand (quite fatty, I ate the skin too).

Exercise: 30 mins of mild meditative standing poses

Very happy that Y told me during dinner that I am indeed a very good listener these days. Being a clearing for what other people have to say. Rather than listening to my own internal conversations and waiting for my turn to speak.

Also happy that I honoured my word and went to dinner w Y rather than bailing last minute due to the presentation I have to do that is due tomorrow.

It is not the number of hours I put into doing this, but rather, what I actually do in those hours.

Commitment, how bad do i want this? burning desire

i take challenges proactively and use setback as a driving force
i apply creative and innovative solutions to problems to achieving my goals
i anticipate problems and always prepare backup plans
i am principle oriented and make certain that specific goals, plans and milestones are set
i dare to take risks and embrace entrepreneurial spirit
i show determination to achieve goals over time and resist any pressure to be deflected from this attainment